I’ve had this blog for many years, so taking it down doesn’t make sense.  Maybe I’ll have to get my tweets to post directly to this blog like they do to facebook.

I love my Macbook and wish I could afford a Macbook Pro and Mac Pro for home.

I’ve started playing with iWeb a little bit so a blog has been set up there (as well as an automatically updating calendar via iCal, which is completely sweet!)

http://web.me.com/areynolds/default/Blog/Blog.html

It was a great success and if I had her number, which I might find and call her this weekend, I’d call Gay and let her know she inspired me to try trick-or-treating with my students like she did with her students for many years.

Thanks Gay!

I’ll post some pics of apple butter day soon (by soon I mean in the next couple weeks)

I was suprised by a call from Tracy last night asking me if school was going ok after she read the last blog post I wrote…which was a while ago.  I really appreciated the call, so whenever you check my blog again, thanks Tracy!

School is going much better than my last post stated.  Graduate school is kicking my @ss now.  With cross country meets the past couple of Saturdays it’s been extremely tought to get my graduate work done.  But that’s life, and we’ll see what happens.

I know it must put a burden on her to have to hear me complaining or being sad so often.  As I drove to school today I was thinking about how I feel like I need to get into a different mood to be able to make it through the school day.  Almost like I have a school life and a personal life.  It might not make much sense, as I try to show my personal life through my classes as much as I can, but at the same time I feel that my school life ovverruns my personal life…as in I have none other than leaning on Emily to help me get through every day.
As I write this, I have tears streaming down my face.  Mostly because I don’t know what I’d do without Em and I don’t know how long I can handle being a teacher.  I love working with kids, but it’s soooo much working coming up with things for them to do…and I spend too much time trying to find the perfect thing for them to do in each class.  BUT I CAN’T STOP.  I don’t know how to tell myself it’s ok if something stinks or not to care if students complain because they are tired of doing worksheets.

And I don’t know who to talk to other than Emily.  I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can talk to here at school about those types of feelings.

I hope this feeling goes away and this is the right profession for me, as I think there us a lot I can offer these kids, but I don’t know right now.

I took the cross country job to make a little bit more money and right now I’m wondering if it was worth the extra time you have to put in as a head coach of a sport.  It’s very early, so we’ll see how I feel towards the end of the XC season.

Only time will tell what will happen.

Had a meeting with my principal today to talk about this past year and this coming year.  It went well.  Just a couple things I need to work on, mostly not being a smart ass every once and a while.
Almost every day I’ll say something and maybe include a gesture that I shouldn’t.  About 5 seconds after I’ll wonder why the hell I did such a thing.  I don’t know if I’ve ever come up with a reason other than wanting to show how smart I am at the expense of others.
This especially happens with Em…so sorry Em!

Towards the end of last year I decided that if I could not teach without the aide of drugs I didn’t want to do it at all.  I survived the last couple of weeks without drugs and the summer of huge ups and downs (engaged to a wonderful gal vs. that wonderful gal’s father passing away) until TODAY.

After my meeting with the principal I met with the other business teacher for a little while to talk about the advisory committee we’re putting together and the upcoming business education conference.  While doing all of this I started to feel the anxiety building up like it did at the beginning of this past school year.
Thinking about: what to do in the advisory meeting, what I’ll do that day between the first practice of cross country season (and what to do for practice, and what time) and the advisory meeting, if I’m going to have clothes that will fit for the conference in a couple weeks, if I can get student aid for my Masters program at UCM, and so on.

So I did what I did at the beginning of last school year.  Came home and curled up on my bed.  Em went home yesterday so I sent her a message and talked with her a little bit.

I guess we’ll see what happens and if I can start the year off without the need of anti-anxiety medication.