TheAndrew.net

I would have never figured myself to be high maintaince, but this week I feel like I sure have been.  I bother Emily a lot with text messages and e-mails (so far 1 e-mail and 2 texts today) to try and make myself feel better.

I know it must put a burden on her to have to hear me complaining or being sad so often.  As I drove to school today I was thinking about how I feel like I need to get into a different mood to be able to make it through the school day.  Almost like I have a school life and a personal life.  It might not make much sense, as I try to show my personal life through my classes as much as I can, but at the same time I feel that my school life ovverruns my personal life…as in I have none other than leaning on Emily to help me get through every day.
As I write this, I have tears streaming down my face.  Mostly because I don’t know what I’d do without Em and I don’t know how long I can handle being a teacher.  I love working with kids, but it’s soooo much working coming up with things for them to do…and I spend too much time trying to find the perfect thing for them to do in each class.  BUT I CAN’T STOP.  I don’t know how to tell myself it’s ok if something stinks or not to care if students complain because they are tired of doing worksheets.

And I don’t know who to talk to other than Emily.  I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can talk to here at school about those types of feelings.